Life is good. I'm smiling. I have two new jobs. I'm friendly. Getting lots of hours. Keeping up with my writing. Meeting with a Professor about my career tomorrow. The sun is out and I have the day off. Doing laundry and getting the house clean.
Apearance can be everything sometimes. Even on this blog, I'm good at making "stuff" appear quite joyous; however, I have not lied to you. All these things are true.
I hate do overs in the middle of my life. According to books, studies and elders...I'm suppose to have this all together. There is suppose to be a fablous man, successful career and friends all around me.
Today, I am grieving the loss of my very chatic and drama filled life. Sure I wasn't the happiest nor was I close to being fulfilled; however, I knew what to expect every day.
So, as I venture off into my sunset I hope that I can get comfortable with being happy and content in my life. Making life decisions at the age of 29 is one of the most uncomfortable things for me to do. At the same token, I don't want to ride through jut any sunset; but, my sunset.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Making my difference
I'm cautious of sounding like a Self-Help book; because, I'm getting help from being myself. I'm learning that who I am really is eneough. If I write, orginality comes out. If I relax and talk to people they are welcomed. When I use my smile and bubbliness to serve people around me they respond.
Why?
Well I think in 2010 people are truly looking for people that still give a shit. ( I apolize for my language; but, seriously what other words can have that affect.) Wheather its in a coffee shop, airport, clothing store or a movie theatre. Where are the people that return wallets? Personally, walk you through hard buying experiences? Open the door for you when a taxi pulls up? We hear stories after stories about the bad stuff. Kids dying, people left out in the trash or being washed up. Television is consumed with crime shows, dramatic sitcoms and reality shows. Where is the good in this rough society.
That is why I love working in Retail. I have the oppurtunity to redefine Customer Service for one person every day. Maybe, the customer isn't always right; however, they do deserve a smile and a "What are you up today?" No questions or actions solely to increase business or for that extra commission. I want interactions with people to make a differnce.
Again, this isn't a refernce quote or part of my resume. If I could get a employer to believe this prior to the interview....I would! This is usually how it goes....Uhhhh only 2 months in retail; not eneough experience. Now I have two jobs that involve customers and I'm happy to do whatI love....Impact people.
Why?
Well I think in 2010 people are truly looking for people that still give a shit. ( I apolize for my language; but, seriously what other words can have that affect.) Wheather its in a coffee shop, airport, clothing store or a movie theatre. Where are the people that return wallets? Personally, walk you through hard buying experiences? Open the door for you when a taxi pulls up? We hear stories after stories about the bad stuff. Kids dying, people left out in the trash or being washed up. Television is consumed with crime shows, dramatic sitcoms and reality shows. Where is the good in this rough society.
That is why I love working in Retail. I have the oppurtunity to redefine Customer Service for one person every day. Maybe, the customer isn't always right; however, they do deserve a smile and a "What are you up today?" No questions or actions solely to increase business or for that extra commission. I want interactions with people to make a differnce.
Again, this isn't a refernce quote or part of my resume. If I could get a employer to believe this prior to the interview....I would! This is usually how it goes....Uhhhh only 2 months in retail; not eneough experience. Now I have two jobs that involve customers and I'm happy to do whatI love....Impact people.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Becoming a Writer
Who would have thought writing can really be a chore. Does anyone else have a hard time being creative under a deadline? I have placed these goals under me like writing about a feeling, a mediation, blog and post something on Craiglist.
I wrote something last night and it was good but I'm not really sure. I find the best writing comes from my life. The good bad and ugly; however, it has to be in the moment. It seems that when I reflect on my life I try to sound like somebody else.....somebody with substnace.
Discovering my voice within my own words is one of the most challenging things to do; yet, the simlist at the same time. So for toady here are my thoughts:
The real Me
Scattered Thoughts
broadcasting intimacy
disfusing emotions
all on one piece of paper
Searching for uniquness
finding my difference
undcovering my indivuality
this iswho I am
Uncovering the bright pain
past the dark sunshine
cleaning the glossy view
I am an amazing person
In other words....this is who I am. Take or leave it. I can't be somebody I'm not anymore.
I wrote something last night and it was good but I'm not really sure. I find the best writing comes from my life. The good bad and ugly; however, it has to be in the moment. It seems that when I reflect on my life I try to sound like somebody else.....somebody with substnace.
Discovering my voice within my own words is one of the most challenging things to do; yet, the simlist at the same time. So for toady here are my thoughts:
The real Me
Scattered Thoughts
broadcasting intimacy
disfusing emotions
all on one piece of paper
Searching for uniquness
finding my difference
undcovering my indivuality
this iswho I am
Uncovering the bright pain
past the dark sunshine
cleaning the glossy view
I am an amazing person
In other words....this is who I am. Take or leave it. I can't be somebody I'm not anymore.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
The best things in Life
Okay, so its every girl dream to become successful. Have the man that as my mother put it, "Worships the ground you walk on". Have the career where they can't live without you cause you are that good at your job. Kids that aren't hard to take care of. No resentments or past failures.
Am I the only one with this thought?
For my own sake, I hope not! Today I'm finding myself feeling terrified of being capable, confident and optimisic about my future. I'm used to failing. It is a very comforting feeling.
To be a women and admit my failures I think takes alot of guts. I have screwed up friendships, pushed good meaning men away, and not trusted family. I have not lived up to my dream adulthood and quite frankly I have done a damn good job of screing it up. They say to be single in your 20s so you can live. What am I living for....another dead in job. More people that don't like me when I stop going to the parties. I think you need to be single in your 30s so you can figure out who you are.
Now at 29 I'm challenging myself to become a women who knows she is capable of making her dreams a reality. I want to write. I want people to read my writing and it to touch their lives in a way that encourges them to be someting different not just another joe walking down the street. I want a job where I meet new people, can spend time with family and impact my community in a postive way. People are precious even the old guy driving in front of you.
My name is Gabrielle and I'm worth getting to know. My dreams aren't meant to stay in my head. Its never too late to start over; even at 29.
Am I the only one with this thought?
For my own sake, I hope not! Today I'm finding myself feeling terrified of being capable, confident and optimisic about my future. I'm used to failing. It is a very comforting feeling.
To be a women and admit my failures I think takes alot of guts. I have screwed up friendships, pushed good meaning men away, and not trusted family. I have not lived up to my dream adulthood and quite frankly I have done a damn good job of screing it up. They say to be single in your 20s so you can live. What am I living for....another dead in job. More people that don't like me when I stop going to the parties. I think you need to be single in your 30s so you can figure out who you are.
Now at 29 I'm challenging myself to become a women who knows she is capable of making her dreams a reality. I want to write. I want people to read my writing and it to touch their lives in a way that encourges them to be someting different not just another joe walking down the street. I want a job where I meet new people, can spend time with family and impact my community in a postive way. People are precious even the old guy driving in front of you.
My name is Gabrielle and I'm worth getting to know. My dreams aren't meant to stay in my head. Its never too late to start over; even at 29.
Friday, April 30, 2010
OH MY G--
OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL i'M JUST PRETTY TICKLED THAT i HAVE AN AUDIENCE. GRANTED MY AUDIENCE IS ONE PERSON....WELL EXCEPT FOR MY OCCASIONAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
I THINK ITS THE TYPICAL WRITER IN ME....I GET EXCITED WHEN I KNOW SOMEONE ELSE IS LISTENING. THIS WEEK I HAVE ENTERTAINED THE IDEA OF ME GOING INTO BUSINESS, WRITING, AND WORKING WITH PEOPLE.
WHY DOES A JOB HAVE TO FEEL LIKE A JOB? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT HOW MUCH I GET PAID, PAID TIME OFF, THE PERKS, AND WHEN MY BENEFITS START.
I WANT A CAREER THAT MAKES A DIFFERNCE. I WANT TO INTERACT WITH CUSTOMERS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I HAVE A TALENT: USING WORDS TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS. HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN WRITE AND LIKE TO WORK WITH PEOPLE. WHY HAVEN'T I PRUSED MY TALENT?
DON'T WORRY; NO TEST HERE. I'M TERRIFIED OF FAILING AND ENDING BACK INTO THE POSITION OF ASKING FOR THE OTHER 100 BUCKS FOR RENT. WITH THAT BEING SAID, I REALIZE I CAN ALSO BE HAPPIER THAN EVER BEFORE IF I STOP AND LET GO OF ONLY DREAMING ABOUT WRITING AND START TO MAKE IT MY REALITY.
NOBODY IS GOINGTO READ A EMAIL AND PUBLISH ME. LOL
I'M EXCITED FOR CHANGE!
QUESTION OF THE DAY?
IS THERE A CHANGE THAT SCARES YOU?
I THINK ITS THE TYPICAL WRITER IN ME....I GET EXCITED WHEN I KNOW SOMEONE ELSE IS LISTENING. THIS WEEK I HAVE ENTERTAINED THE IDEA OF ME GOING INTO BUSINESS, WRITING, AND WORKING WITH PEOPLE.
WHY DOES A JOB HAVE TO FEEL LIKE A JOB? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT HOW MUCH I GET PAID, PAID TIME OFF, THE PERKS, AND WHEN MY BENEFITS START.
I WANT A CAREER THAT MAKES A DIFFERNCE. I WANT TO INTERACT WITH CUSTOMERS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I HAVE A TALENT: USING WORDS TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS. HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN WRITE AND LIKE TO WORK WITH PEOPLE. WHY HAVEN'T I PRUSED MY TALENT?
DON'T WORRY; NO TEST HERE. I'M TERRIFIED OF FAILING AND ENDING BACK INTO THE POSITION OF ASKING FOR THE OTHER 100 BUCKS FOR RENT. WITH THAT BEING SAID, I REALIZE I CAN ALSO BE HAPPIER THAN EVER BEFORE IF I STOP AND LET GO OF ONLY DREAMING ABOUT WRITING AND START TO MAKE IT MY REALITY.
NOBODY IS GOINGTO READ A EMAIL AND PUBLISH ME. LOL
I'M EXCITED FOR CHANGE!
QUESTION OF THE DAY?
IS THERE A CHANGE THAT SCARES YOU?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Average Jane
What is normal or what is average? I think more often than not I like to think of myself as superwomen or any other tittle of mine with super in front of it. The truth is the struggles and success I have are experienced by many other women all over the world.
I'm not the first to want true love but to fall the loser, have a bad room mate, dislike her sibling, have best friends, want children or have the career and money to support all my wants and desires. I guess the most Grown up thing I have done is realize that I'm really am just an average Jane.
Now, for the self help guru out there I know I have talents, assests and many other affirmations that I can find in a book. Maybe, thats the thing that makes me....me. Anybody can be a girlfriend, sister, auntie, job seeker or a daugter; however, no one can portray it the way my personality can.
Truly, I'm a gifted average Jane or Miss. Mae if you will.
Question of the Day:
What does your role as the average Jane look like?
I'm not the first to want true love but to fall the loser, have a bad room mate, dislike her sibling, have best friends, want children or have the career and money to support all my wants and desires. I guess the most Grown up thing I have done is realize that I'm really am just an average Jane.
Now, for the self help guru out there I know I have talents, assests and many other affirmations that I can find in a book. Maybe, thats the thing that makes me....me. Anybody can be a girlfriend, sister, auntie, job seeker or a daugter; however, no one can portray it the way my personality can.
Truly, I'm a gifted average Jane or Miss. Mae if you will.
Question of the Day:
What does your role as the average Jane look like?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
JOB SEEKER
One of my tittles in my life is a Job Seeker. I know many others hold this tittle. I think this th tittle I hate the most right now.
This tittle forces me to think nothing other than the best about myself. Its admitting that I have had 13 jobs in the pasts 10 years and still convincing the new company I will be an asset to their company. Dressing my best but filling so ugly inside. All I can think of is the bills that aren't being paid, the late notices and the independence which is stripped away every day I'm not working.
So with that being said, I am a Job seeker and without this tittle I would not be able to provide for myself. Before every time of being an employee I have always been the job seeker first. Still waiting for that fabulous job and to walk into the tittle of employee.
Question of the Day
What tittle in your life makes you second guess your worth?
This tittle forces me to think nothing other than the best about myself. Its admitting that I have had 13 jobs in the pasts 10 years and still convincing the new company I will be an asset to their company. Dressing my best but filling so ugly inside. All I can think of is the bills that aren't being paid, the late notices and the independence which is stripped away every day I'm not working.
So with that being said, I am a Job seeker and without this tittle I would not be able to provide for myself. Before every time of being an employee I have always been the job seeker first. Still waiting for that fabulous job and to walk into the tittle of employee.
Question of the Day
What tittle in your life makes you second guess your worth?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Auntie
My most defining role in my life is being a Auntie. I ave a four year old nephew whom I have lived with the majority of his little life. For the first time in my life I don't live with him. We talk often and see each other occasionally.
I have to admit when he is too busy watching the latest Batman or Spiderman. I'm generally told the classic 4 year old response "Hi, Bye". This totally sucks. I love that boy more than words can even describe.
What does it mean to be Miss Mae without the consistent role of Auntie? I do realize that the typical Auntie sees the children on holidays or the occasional outing. Fortunately, this hasn't been the reality of my role as the Auntie.
Even cooking meals for one is just such a strange thing.
Today I'm learning how to be Miss. Mae. Go for walks. Buy the fresh seafood. Take comfort that there is so much more to me than being Auntie. With that being said, I still enjoy this role.
Question of the Day
What role do you play in your life that it would be hard to live without?
I have to admit when he is too busy watching the latest Batman or Spiderman. I'm generally told the classic 4 year old response "Hi, Bye". This totally sucks. I love that boy more than words can even describe.
What does it mean to be Miss Mae without the consistent role of Auntie? I do realize that the typical Auntie sees the children on holidays or the occasional outing. Fortunately, this hasn't been the reality of my role as the Auntie.
Even cooking meals for one is just such a strange thing.
Today I'm learning how to be Miss. Mae. Go for walks. Buy the fresh seafood. Take comfort that there is so much more to me than being Auntie. With that being said, I still enjoy this role.
Question of the Day
What role do you play in your life that it would be hard to live without?
Monday, April 12, 2010
The beginning of something great
I'm new to blogging, writing, and following that small voice that encourges to me to dream. I'm a sister, daughter, auntie, an ex girlfriend, a follower, job seeker, and a friend. I long to drop my tittles and just be me. I haven't quite figured it out.
I have made some smart choices; but, a lot of choices I have regreted too. I lose my cellphone, wallet, and my id. I forget to call those I love and continue to be bothered by my enemy's.
This is my spot in the world where I invite other women to set aside there many tittles and realize that we can be good friends or not just the strange women sitting across the room. I encourage you to write and respond about what happens when your favorite song comes on or when you realize how amazing you are.
With that being said, I'm amazing. I have the ability to take care of others, hold a conversation, and cook dinner. How many people can do that? I'm 29 and I still believe that something amazing can come of my life. It is truly never too late to grow up! Thank heaven for that!
To the women who is 65 and attends classes or the women that places dreams on hold for a band new baby......props to us! We are amazing!
I have made some smart choices; but, a lot of choices I have regreted too. I lose my cellphone, wallet, and my id. I forget to call those I love and continue to be bothered by my enemy's.
This is my spot in the world where I invite other women to set aside there many tittles and realize that we can be good friends or not just the strange women sitting across the room. I encourage you to write and respond about what happens when your favorite song comes on or when you realize how amazing you are.
With that being said, I'm amazing. I have the ability to take care of others, hold a conversation, and cook dinner. How many people can do that? I'm 29 and I still believe that something amazing can come of my life. It is truly never too late to grow up! Thank heaven for that!
To the women who is 65 and attends classes or the women that places dreams on hold for a band new baby......props to us! We are amazing!
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